In roughly fifteen hours I will be getting back my results, the proof of my hard work ... or the fact that I screwed up my 'O' levels. I could already feel the pressure. My heart is beating ridiculously fast. My hands are shaking.

A bit too early, perhaps?

I wish to turn up late tomorrow, but I fear that I might be all alone. I would hate to walk into the hall alone, or face the teachers alone. Then again I also wish to avoid all the doom talk. I am tired of hearing people telling each other that they think they will do badly. I know I do that too, but the difference between me and them is that I really do know I will do badly and they always get perfect As.

Humans.

I refuse to join the doom talk tomorrow. I did not when I got back my Chinese results this year. I got an A1 for that, but it was only because it was the Chinese paper and I really did study for it.

I tried to convince myself.

"Hey, you did your best."

Then I asked myself.

"Was your best truly your best? Or could you have done better?"

If I truly did my best, I would not got the calculations wrong for the Chemistry Practical. If my best was truly my best, I would have gotten the entire question two of the Physics paper correct. If I had studied harder, I would have gotten the oxidation states of question seven of the Chemistry paper correct.

But I got them all wrong. They were not hard. What went wrong?

I think I know the answer.

Alas, I still speak of doom. I do not think I will do badly, but I also do not think I will do very well either.

I hope the weather will be good tomorrow. Should things not go that well, then perhaps the fine breeze might assuage my grief.

This might be my last calm moment.

For this week, at least.