And now, I wait.

I have finally settled the application procedures for both NUS and NTU. I mailed NUS' required documents the last week, and NTU's yesterday.

ADM required an awesome number of stuff, and even though I knew about it since a year ago I still had trouble preparing them.

I blame FYP.

Anyway, here are the courses I applied for -

NUS
1. FASS
2. SoC (Information Systems)

I am actually aiming for Communications and New Media/Psychology for FASS and E-Commerce for SoC.

NTU
1. ADM
2. Communication Studies
3. Psychology

For NTU, my choices are a little risky because ADM looks at portfolio/assignment and should my portfolio/assignment fail to impress them I would be automatically considered for my next choice, Communication Studies.

CS, however, states that applicants must have a pass in GP or equivalent. I obviously do not meet that requirement because I am not from a JC. The COP for last year states that polytechnic graduates were admitted though.

*shrugs*

Psychology in NTU requires a pass Additional Mathematics in 'O' Levels or equivalent. I did not take that subject back in my Nan Hua days, and thus I am also unsure if I can be considered for the course.

At any rate, I did my best. I know that my GPA of 3.7 is nothing spectacular, but at least I lived up to myself. I told myself that I would attain a score that would be worthy of university admission when I chose to go to a polytechnic instead of a JC, and I think I did.

And now, like the title says, I wait. It would take some time for the applications to be processed, but I expect the results to be made known by latest mid March.

Look out for a post with photographs. It might be rejection or acceptance letters from the universities. I am going to take photographs either way.

In case anyone is mocking my enthusiasm in this matter (i.e. JC students get a place without worrying or whatnot), I have to say that you are very shallow. You know nothing about me, and to make that judgment tells a lot about yourself.

Am I bitter because I am not a JC student? I don't see the relevance. There is no standard for hard work. If anyone tells you otherwise, that person is a fool. It is like putting a price on life. You might think you are only being practical, but still a fool.

Don't try too hard to be an elitist. Your efforts stand out like a sore thumb.

My fault?

Sometimes I reflect on decisions I have made, and 99% of the time I feel like I made a mistake. The decisions can range from whether I should drink ice lemon tea or grass jelly drink to which university I should go.

A good example would be games. Certain games would force you to make plot decisions (i.e. Persona), and I am very uncomfortable with this. No matter how much I ponder, I end up thinking I should have chosen the other one instead.

I don't know if it is because I don't trust myself, or the curiosity of what would have happened if I chose the other option.

And the funny thing is when I do this in exams (i.e. MCQs), I am usually wrong because I always go back and change my answer. Asking for it, man.

Call me indecisive, but I prefer to leave my options open until the very last minute. Not because I am a greedy bastard, but because I really don't know if I made the right decision.

Somewhere.

One of the biggest traits of Capricorn is that we prefer to have something to step on. Like the mountain goat that represents the sign, we like to walk on solid ground.

Or maybe that is just me.

Now that I am going to graduate from polytechnic soon, I am overwhelmed by a sense of loss. Loss of direction. Now what? Where to next? I have no place where I belong in time to come.

I don't like it. It rattles my very bones. It feels like something is wrong. It feels like as if I have been abandoned.

Not a pretty feeling.

20.

So old. I hate growing up.

2010, baby.

It's the new year, and like the past years I don't feel anything special. All these counting down parties and whatnot. I don't get their point. I am guessing the reason is something like "welcoming the new year", or "gather together as strangers in the old year and friends in the new year".

Is there some sort of system whereby the more people welcome the new year the less bitchy it is going to be? Maybe there's a hidden meter. If too few people "believe" in the new year, the worse the year would be. That would actually explain the events in the recent years.

I was playing a game, and in the game there was this line -

"The weaker the faith people have in gods, the weaker the gods become, and the weaker is their presence. A vicious cycle, and yet people wonder why have the gods abandoned them. They didn't. We abandoned them."

A thought provoking line although I suspect many might voice their disagreements, and this reminds me of another issue I want to write about.

Isn't it interesting why people find it a need to either agree or disagree on a matter, and that there is no room for anything else? More often than not I find it enough to simply think about the matter and not have any stand on it.

Ah well. Enough.

Happy new year, folks.