Life is good to me lately. How should I put it? No real obstacles, just a few stones. I would be lying to myself if I tell you PE is not troubling me - but it is not like it is making my life miserable.

... Come to think of it. I am not too sure anymore.

Anyway, I have been thinking about the terms 'boyfriend' and 'marriage' lately. My sister and her husband have been quarreling a lot lately, and I am severely traumatised. Living in a house with two MCPs, I have little faith in men. Seeing how their marriage is breaking, I wonder if I am really cut out for a relationship or marriage in the future.

"Oh, come on. You are but sixteen."

I don't know about that, pal. Sometimes, you just know what problems you will be facing even though it is not the time yet. I shudder at the thought of a male entering my life. Even though I am not an Aquarian, freedom is essential for me to continue with my journey. I detest having to inform someone of my location whenever he deem fit. I detest having to keep a watch on someone. I detest having to go out into the world regularly in order to sustain the relationship (in modern language, they call them 'dates').

I don't like going out for dinners or shopping or for anything useless (whether or not a certain activity is useless is up to me to judge, not him or anyone). I don't like flowers unless you know what I like. I don't like cute objects (no giant soft toys or anything retarded like that). I don't like relying on males. I don't like to act like a demure lady.

I like gaming. I like to go out as and when I like. I like to stay at home as and when I like. I like the fact that I have to answer only to my mother and myself regarding the things I do. I like governing my own life.

I am not tactful when it comes to talking to people about sensitive topics. I am not equipped with the skill of consoling. The only method I know that can combat all these problems is silence. Besides, my temper is probably the worse ever in the recorded history. I have slight anger mangagement problems - a big issue, indeed.

I wonder how do people stay in a relationship. Even though I am a greenhorn in this field, I do understand that getting into a relationship is far easier than staying in one. Isn't having to compromise hard? Having to think of someone whenever you do something is drop-dead difficult.

Gee. Now I find people who manage to get married astonishing.

Having to learn to give in to someone is hard. I don't think I can ever do it. Well, yes - I am a brat like that.