When I was young, I had a slight blockage in the colon and it gave me horrible stomachaches. I still remember how it felt. I was shaking, couldn't speak and pale as a piece of paper. It took me a week to recover. I continued having stomachaches and vomited frequently throughout the week. In short, it was hell.
I consequently developed great fear for any sort of stomach discomfort. And the fact that I have a sensitive stomach doesn't help. For friends who have wondered why I dislike seafood and am always so reluctant to try new food, now you know why.
A few weeks ago, I had food poisoning at Vivo City. I had diarrhea and kept vomiting. Toilets were few and far in between. I even vomited a few times in the full view of public because I could not get to the toilet in time. I felt dizzy. With the help of a friend, I took a taxi home and had an injection at the doctor's to stop the vomiting.
The incident greatly increased my fear for stomach discomfort. I began having irrational thoughts that I might experience some sort of stomach discomfort whenever I go out. It does not happen at home. These thoughts increased in severity lately and today, I experienced my first panic attack.
I was outside with my parents at a hawker centre, looking for seats. I started to think that I might be having some stomach woes. Images of my last food poisoning incident flooded my mind and the thoughts began to overwhelm me. My muscles tensed. My hands began tingling and eventually curled up. My feet turned cold and vision started to blur. I felt faint and asked my parents if we could go back home. I think they saw that I was unwell and we went home immediately.
There you have it, my first panic attack. I had control over neither my mind nor body. My fear for stomach discomfort have progressed to a sort of panic disorder. It sucks. I don't know how to deal with it. But I must. I want my life back.
1 comment:
._. sounds damn scary.
your panic attack's purely psychological right?
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