To look at myself.

I have been given offers from all three universities and those were my first choices no less. And yet, I still feel inadequate. Why?

It took a long time to come to terms with this, but I think it is time I face it.

As much as I believe, or want to believe, that I can be happy by doing what I like, I am unable to ignore the realities of life. I have not achieved enough to feed my appetite for glory, and this is the reason for my unhappiness.

Oh, you got into NUS FASS? That is a dumping ground, you know? What is NTU ADM? You do design there? SMU SIS has the lowest COP last year, yes?

I mind very much what others say about me. I mind very much how I appear to others. Are my achievements acknowledged? Am I worthy of praise? What do they think about me? My mind is so easily poisoned.

I thought I am strong, but I am merely another individual who let others decide my worth. I love myself as much as others value me. I have, unknowingly, long placed prestige at the top of my list. I am utterly ashamed to admit that I am as such. It wounds my pride.

I intend to fix this broken part of my character, and this entry is my first step.