Those days.

I got into EM1 effortlessly, scored 250 for PSLE without studying and managed to halve my aggregate from 37 to 13 (raw) with just 2 months of mugging for 'O's (yes, yes, I played a little too much during secondary school days).

Do I have the aptitude for studies? I daresay I have, but unfortunately I laid it to waste.

Sick and tired of intensive mugging after 'O's, I was adamant about entering a polytechnic instead of a JC. I wanted to relax. I wanted to be free. In short, I just wanted to be lazy.

Even though I have successfully obtained a GPA worthy of university admission, I still regret thinking that way back then.

The reason?

Money.

Money is what keeps us alive in Singapore, and I need it.

Most arts and humanities graduates end up doing something completely unrelated to their qualifications. What good is it to not make use of what you have spent so much time learning building your future? Isn't it as good as restarting? Isn't it a little late?

If I had known ("This line again!", I hear you complain.) the realities of life and society, I would have taken my studies a lot more seriously. I think I am rather shameless to say this, but I think I would have possibly qualified for law or something if I studied my butt off.

Actually, I suppose most people could if they too studied their butts off.

I didn't screw up my life per se, but I am certain I could have fared better. Don't we all? At least I still have a shot at university, and this time I am going to study my butt off.

I'm not so sure about ADM now. It's too artsy for my tastes, and a reality check - can I make it in the design industry?

I believe that to excel in art (talking about fine arts here like drawing, the eye for detail and stuff) you need talent. I don't care what people say, but you can never attain the same level of a talented individual with sheer hard work for something like art.

YOU REALLY CAN'T.

... Unless you spend like 5 years perfecting your water painting skills when a talented painter could master it in 5 months, and after you attain that level, he or she has advanced to yet another level seemingly beyond your reach.

And so far, I can only draw stickmen. Hmm.

Mathematics and sciences are ... No way. I would probably be suicidal after a semester.

Well, I am back to arts and humanities. Psychology? Sociology? Career prospects are not too fantastic, but I guess I will take whatever I can in turning the tables around. It is no use to continue bathing in former glory, for those times are long gone. This time, I will give it my best. I will prove to myself that I am worthy of my own respect.

I will update again after I have results of my applications, and hopefully I didn't just jinx myself with this entry.

Let me in, damn it.

P.S.
I am not being bitter about not being a JC student. I am not bashing polytechnic students. I am simply being harsh on myself .

At any rate, I stand by my previous entry. Hard work is hard work, and should be celebrated. I could have done better in my years of polytechnic, but otherwise I did my best.

Contradictory? Yes, it is, but I can't be bothered to explain any further. Too much information. And thus, this ends here.